The unkempt house for sale in Costa Rica
Does an unkempt house sell easily? Let’s find out…
Dick and Jane del Valle – Springfield called me to come over and check out their house for sale. They needed help in getting the house priced right because they have to move to another country next month.
Unfortunately, Dick and Jane’s house is 32 years old; it’s very unkempt and needs a lot of work. Their home is a super-duper fixer-upper. It’s not a home, it’s a project.
Few buyers are looking for projects like this, even if offered way under market price. Dick and Jane expect their property to sell quickly and at a great price.
Some sellers are sometimes just amazing. They hire a real estate agent to sell their house in Costa Rica but do nothing to keep it presentable at all times. Unkempt homes always decrease in value. But why even listen to your real estate agent’s advice?
I have made a compilation of some motivated sellers’ responses/excuses (they say they are motivated…) for trying to sell a house that is unkempt. Some are hilarious and others you’d sit in a corner and start screaming! I’m sure you’ll enjoy them.
1. The kitchen remodel
Agent: Dick, the kitchen cabinetry is seriously going to hurt the sales price of your house for sale. That kitchen has long stopped being a real kitchen, it’s falling apart.
Seller: Oh come on Ivo, any buyer of this house would either tear it all down or remodel the kitchen anyway.
2. The hole in the roof
Agent: Jane, the hole in the roof in the living room really needs fixing, the buyers are already calling it the “waterfall house”. You should come and look for yourself during a rainstorm.
Seller: I’m in New Jersey right now Ivo and ready to get on a flight to Vietnam. Can’t you just patch it up a bit until I get back in 6 months?
3. The kitchen floor
Agent: Dick, the kitchen floor is moving like crazy when you walk on it, the beams must be rotten right through. Look at all the cracked tiles because of it.
Seller: Ivo, why do you worry so much about little things like that? Any buyer wants to change those tiles anyway.
4. The cobwebs
Agent: Jane, I know it is difficult to get to clean those high ceilings of your house for sale. But you really need to get rid of those cobwebs. It looks like the house has been not lived in for years.
Seller: What do you want me to do Ivo, I can’t get up there and I can’t find anybody to clean it for me. Can’t you take care of it? You want to earn the commission as the selling real estate agent, don’t you?
5. The jungle house
Agent: Dick, you really need to cut the grass of your house for sale, I can’t find your front door without using a machete, it looks like a jungle. You really think your unkempt house is ever going to sell the way it shows?
Seller: Ivo, don’t you know how difficult it is to find a gardener here in Escazu. They charge an arm and a leg. I was thinking of burning it when it’s dry enough.
6. The dirty laundry
Agent: Jane, could you please make the beds and get rid of the dirty laundry in the bathroom before we show your house for sale? That’s why we call you a day ahead of time to tell you about the showing. Last time there was even dirty underwear all over the bedroom.
Seller: I always try to Ivo, but sometimes I just don’t’ have the time and I hate getting up early.
7. The backyard trash
Agent: Dick, could you please get rid of all that trash in your backyard? The place looks like a dump.
Seller: Come on Ivo, I’ve already reduced it to half of what it was. Every time I go out I take some of it in the back of my car and drop it off at a strip mall or throw it on some empty lot along the way. It just takes a while to get rid of it all. If I’d have to pay someone to take it away, it’s going to run up a huge bill.
8. The overstuffed closets
Seller: Ivo, could you stop people from looking in my closets, please? I just don’t like anyone to see that they are so stuffed; I have a hard time closing them again.
Agent: Come on Jane, buyers want to see how large the closets are. You really have to get rid of all that extra stuff you don’t need. Once you sell the house you’re not going to take most of it anyway since you’re downsizing. I’m so tired of showing your unkempt house over and over and you’re scaring buyers off with it.
9. The nightly visit
Seller: God Ivo, is it really necessary for those people to come back to see the valley view at night? I always go to bed early.
Agent: Dick, why don’t you take Jane to the movies and I’ll take care of the clients. I will send you a text message when we’re done.
10. The sleeping kids
Agent: Jane, could you please tell your kids to wake up in time in the morning so I can show their room to our clients? I hate to always show them a dark kid’s room and tell them to be quiet.
Seller: Poor kids Ivo, they study so hard all night. It’s much easier not to show their rooms.
11. The last and the best one
Agent: Jane, the price you want to list your property at is way impossible. You need to seriously reduce it like 50%. And you need to stop sending me text messages after 9 pm, please call us during office hours.
Then Jane tried to publish a comment on a Tico Times article that I wrote: WE and two other gringos have had a terrible experience with you, Ivo. You have put limits on us that were listing with you. We went elsewhere with a good agent who is FAIR.
Suffice to say that one year later, the property has not sold.
All these comments about a house for sale in Costa Rica are pretty normal in the life of a real estate agent. Do you plan to put your house on the market? Then you know you will be in serious trouble with me if your house doesn’t look great during showings.
If you’re a serious, motivated seller, and yours is not an unkempt house, then contact us now to list your property.
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I DO want to remind our readers that we appreciate any referrals you can send us. Also, please remember the GoDutch Realty agents when you talk about your home in Costa Rica, we appreciate it.