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The unkempt house for sale in Costa Rica

The unkempt house for sale in Costa RicaDick and Jane del Valle – Springfield called me to come over and check out their house for sale. They needed help in getting the house priced right because they have to move to another country next month.

Unfortunately Dick and Jane’s house is 32 years old; it’s very unkempt and needs a lot of work. It’s a super fixer-upper, it’s not a home, but it’s a project. Few buyers are looking for projects, even if you would offer it way under market price. Dick and Jane expect their property to sell quickly and at a great price.

Some sellers are sometimes just amazing. They hire a real estate agent to sell their house in Costa Rica but do nothing to keep it presentable at all times. Unkempt homes decrease in value, but why even listen to your real estate agent’s advice?

I have made a compilation of some motivated sellers responses (which they say they are) given to our real estate agents. Some are hilarious and others you’d sit in a corner and cry about, I’m sure you’ll enjoy them.

 

The kitchen remodel

The kitchen remodel

 

The kitchen remodel

Agent: Dick, the kitchen cabinetry is seriously going to hurt your sales price of your house for sale. That kitchen has long stopped being a real kitchen, its falling apart.

Seller: Oh come on Ivo, any buyer of this house would either tear it all down or remodel the kitchen anyway.

 

The waterfall house

The waterfall house

 

The hole in the roof

Agent: Jane, the hole in the roof in the living room of your house for sale really need fixing, the buyers are already calling it the “waterfall house”. You should come and look for yourself during a rainstorm.

Seller: I’m in New Jersey right now Ivo and ready to get on a flight to Vietnam, can’t you just patch it up a bit until I get back in 6 months?

 

The cracked kitchen floor

The cracked kitchen floor

 

The kitchen floor

Agent: Dick, the kitchen floor of your house for sale is moving like crazy when you walk on it, the beams must be rotten right through. Look at all the cracked tiles because of it.

Seller: Ivo, why do you worry so much about little things like that? Any buyer would want to change those tiles anyway.

 

The cobwebs

The cobwebs

 

The cobwebs

Agent: Jane, I know it is difficult to get to clean those high ceilings of your house for sale but you really need to get rid of those cobwebs. It looks like the house has been not lived in for years.

Seller: What do you want me to do Ivo, I can’t get up there and I can’t find anybody to clean it for me. Can’t you take care of it? You want to earn the commission as the selling real estate agent, don’t you?

 

The jungle house

The jungle house

 

The jungle house

Agent: Dick, you really need to cut the grass of your house for sale, I can’t find your front door without using a machete, it looks like a jungle.

Seller: Ivo, don’t you know how difficult it is to find a gardener here in Escazu, and they’re charging an arm and a leg. I was thinking of burning it when it’s dry enough.

 

The dirty laundry

The dirty laundry

 

The dirty laundry

Agent: Jane, could you please make the beds and get rid of the dirty laundry in the bathroom before we show your house for sale? That’s why we call you a day ahead of time to tell you about the showing. Last time there was dirty underwear all over the bedroom.

Seller: I always try to Ivo, but sometimes I just don’t’ have the time and I hate getting up early.

 

The backyard trash

The backyard trash

The backyard trash

Agent: Dick, could you please get rid of all that trash in your backyard? The place looks like a dump.

Seller: Come on Ivo, I’ve already reduced it to half of what it was. Every time I go out I take some of it in the back of my car and drop it off at a strip mall or throw it on some empty lot along the way. It just takes a while to get rid of it all. If I’d have to pay someone to take it away, it’s going to run up a huge bill.

 

The stuffed closets

The stuffed closets

 

The stuffed closets

Seller: Ivo, could you stop people from looking in my closets please? I just don’t like anyone to see that they are so stuffed; I have a hard time getting them closed again.

Agent: Jane, you need to get rid of all that extra stuff you don’t need. Once we sell the house you’re not going to take most of it anyway since you’re downsizing.

 

The nightly visit

Seller: God Ivo, is it really necessary for those people to come back to see the valley view at night? I always go to bed early.

Agent: Dick, why don’t you take Jane to the movies and I’ll take care of the clients. I will send you a text message when we’re done.

 

The sleeping kids

The sleeping kids

 

The sleeping kids

Agent:  Jane, could you please tell your kids to wake up in time in the morning so I can show their room to our clients? I hate to always show them the kid’s room and tell them to be quiet.

Seller: Poor kids Ivo, they study so hard all night. It’s much easier not to show the rooms.

 

The last and the best one

Agent: Jane, the price you want us to list your property at is way impossible, you need to seriously reduce it like 50%. And you need to stop sending me text messages after 9 pm, please call us during office hours.

Then Jane tried to publish a comment on a Tico Times article that I wroter: WE and two other gringos have had a terrible experience with you Ivo. You have put limits on us that were listing with you. We went else where with a good agent who is FAIR.

Suffice to say that one year later, the property has not sold.

All these comments about a house for sale in Costa Rica are pretty normal in the life of a real estate agent. If you ever plan to put your house on the market, you know that if those are your answers, you will be in serious trouble with me and you’ll be looking for another listing agent.


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I DO want to remind our readers that we appreciate any referrals you can send us. I know you all meet people on the plane, in the supermarket, at yoga, at the gym, at the Blooms ladies club, at the potluck organized by your community. Please remember the GoDutch Realty agents when you talk about your home in Costa Rica, when you meet someone who wants to purchase one, we appreciate it.

We Love your Referrals at GoDutch Realty

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Ivo Henfling

If you are looking to buy a home in Costa Rica or invest in a condo anywhere in the central Valley, or looking for any property for sale in Escazu, you need to call me. I have been selling real estate in Escazu for over 20 years and can show you hundreds of happy buyers of real estate in Escazu and other areas. To me, a deal is not a good deal unless both buyer and seller are happy.

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